another moral hangover. fuck.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How external is "for external use only"?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize