I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
