i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
