I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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