Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
