I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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