i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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