The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
