Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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