Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
