wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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