Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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