Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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