so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He passed out mid-signature
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
