Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
