Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
