I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
