Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
