Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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