Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
