How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize