Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
