you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize