I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
