i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
did i just pee glitter
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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