Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
