we're blogging at a bar
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
