i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
soo... how was my night?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize