i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
