we have pet lesbian snakes
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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