i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
