escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
