capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
