Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
