my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was confusing and full of hummus
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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