All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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