Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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