Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
