ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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