she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
