haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
