He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
