I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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