There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
