i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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