All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
