i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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