i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
