so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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