Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize