how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
