So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
