She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
