i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
