Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
