If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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