Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
