Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
