just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
