You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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