saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
