party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
