She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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