didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
