i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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