I puked a lego.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
