Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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