I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
