Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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