I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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