So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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