It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
