its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Barsexuality is the new black.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
